I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
