I just threw up on my dentist
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
