wanna go halves on a baby?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
