In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
