I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
