I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
