he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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