I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
