Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
