get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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