he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
