Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
