i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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