Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
