Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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