return my video game
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
