Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
