Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
