Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
