why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
