i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She's the barista slut.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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