brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
