she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
