Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
