She said her name was "party"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
