They should really pass out barf bags in church
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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