I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
