My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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