i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Randomize
