my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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