just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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