he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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