Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
