He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
