Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
