My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Come share oat with me in your robe
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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