someone owes me an orgasm
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
