1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
