blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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