Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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