the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Randomize
