After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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