Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
