we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
