Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The uberlube is also flammable
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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