I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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