I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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