Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
