No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
that's an acceptable place to lick
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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