I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
